Manifesto

    One of the hardest questions for me to answer is what do you believe in? I feel that as someone in there teenage years, in between childhood and adulthood, such a question can not be properly answered. Choosing beliefs is a serious decision and at this stage of life, I think most teenagers  are just starting to develop a sense of maturity to appreciate those types of questions. Its something you develop as you get older and have more experience handling difficult situations. Beliefs should come from your own personal experiences so we have the rest of our lives to decide what they are. They shouldn't be set in stone, you should always be able to change them. All of my beliefs are made up of stories and memories from my childhood, and also the people I spent them with, some of the best times were with my family. There are many things I am thankful to my family for. They have always been there for me and have helped me grow throughout the years. It is for this reason I would have to disagree with David Banach's argument that "When you think of it, each of us is alone in the world.  Only we feel our pains, our pleasures, our hopes, and our fears immediately, subjectively, from the inside.  Other people only see us from the outside, objectively, and, hard as we may try, we can only see them from the outside.  No one else can feel what we feel, and we cannot feel what is going on in any one else's mind.” We cant truly connect to others thoughts through their experiences because we have all had different ones and different reactions towards them. No one can truly understand others train of thought, this does make all of us individuals but not alone. When one is alone, it is only a current state not a permanent one. We can still find comfort with other individuals and I would have to say I feel this way around the people closest in my life, my family. They will always be there for me, therefore I feel like true loneliness can't be achieved as long as you have at least one person who can support, understand, and console you.

      What I also got from that quote was that Banach feels we can’t truly share the exact  same thoughts with someone, which I would have to disagree with. I believe that depending on how long and how strong a certain relationship is, sharing certain ideas can be possible. I had first agreed with Banach, but my friend convince me that I was wrong. There have been so many times me and my best friend Hannah, who I have known since the 6th grade,  have said the exact same thing at the same time or could tell what the other was thinking. Sometimes we even say almost full paragraphs at the same time! This has not only happened to me with her, but its also with close family members and other close friends.  I think it’s because when you spend a lot of time with a person, you begin to pick up on little things like the way they talk and/or act without noticing. In order to do this I feel like you have to have a really close connection to the person, it doesn't happen to me with strangers or even aquanrtnces. However, I do understand what Banach is saying. I think his main point is that although people can have strong connections, knowing what is going on in each others minds is impossible. Although we say the somethings, our thoughts could be different. No one can know what you are thinking except for yourself. Banach describes this as being "alone" but I think it's only one part of you thats alone. We are  alone when it comes to our thoughts, but personally I find that a good thing. I think certain things are best to just keep to yourself, people don't need to know everything about your life. Having your own private thoughts seems like a healthy way of living to me.

     We all are freed, but we have different types freedoms. I do not feel that we are truly able to be free in this society, even though our land claims to have freedom of speech and be the land of the free. People are often punished for freedom of speech, usually when it is something the government finds offensive. For me and probably most teens, there is no freedom of speech at home. Parent scold us and its not like we can talk back, most f us have to sit there and take it . It use to be the same at school but I think teachers are finally starting to notice that we are growing up, they no longer treat us so childish. I do feel we are free mentally though. We can think anything we want and not get in trouble for it.  However, sometimes our thoughts hold us back as well. Banach gives a great example of this when he says that “We are all familiar with the ways in which we try to excuse our actions by pretending that we are simply our bodies and are controlled by the forces that determine them.  We have all said things like:

I can't talk to people, I just don't have that kind of personality.

I can't pass this course, I'm just don't have the brain for calculus.

I can't help the fact that I was born a man (or a woman); Certain things come naturally for certain types of people.  (Says the man who can't take care of his children, or the woman who can't fix her car.)

I'm no good at this; I guess I just wasn't made to go to college.

Gee, I'm sorry about last night.  I guess my hormones just got out of control.

I'm sorry I bit your head off yesterday.  I must be premenstrual. 

I don't know what happened.  I guess the beer made me crazy.

In these cases, I am identifying myself with one of the pictures of me I find on my mental TV screen: I am my body, or my brain, or my personality, or my hormones.  In each of these cases, I am deceiving myself.  I am more than just these, and no matter how I try to avoid it, I am free.”. I think what Banach is saying is that it isn’t our bodies that represent us, its our minds and that we can’t hide behind our own excuses because we all have the potential to be what we want to be. I know I am a victim of letting my thoughts hold me back. To this day I still think I am shy and often feel exactly how Banach put it,  “ I can't talk to people, I just don't have that kind of personality.” What a lot of people don't notice is that the only one doubting us is ourselves. We are ones telling ourselves we can't do something just because we are afraid to. The way I see it is you only live once, each day is a day you can't get back. So you might as well live your life the way you want too. Although I strongly believe this, actually following through and defeating your fear is much easier said then done. 

     This world is so mysterious, can we even truly define what happiness is? I think not. It's just as Banach said, we can't know other peoples experiences or what's going on throughout their brain so happiness is different for us all, but I think we can all agree that true happiness is a mystery. When I think about it I am unsure of what makes me truly happy, It kind of just happens but  I do have a theory of what it is. I think true happiness is when you get something you want, which makes me feel that we are all bit selfish. It first occurred to me when I had read the passage on happiness in Banach's lecture. "Our life is a series of meaningless actions culminating in death, with no possibility of external justification.  Yet, Camus will say that we must imagine Sisyphus (and ourselves) happy?  "One must imagine Sisyphus happy." (MS, p. 91)  Why?  Why would this fool be happy eternally rolling a ball up a hill, and why should we be happy rolling our ball up the hill to nowhere?" I believe Sisyphus is eternally happy because he got what he always wanted, immortality. Although the rest of his life will just be pushing a rock up a hill,  the thing Sisyphus wanted most was granted to him so he is satisfied. Another thing I found interesting in this quote was when Banach says "Our life is a series of meaningless actions culminating in death, with no possibility of external justification.". The idea of death has always been my biggest fear, but it doesn't mean you stop living. If anything, it makes the series of meaningless actions even more special. It's like how Matthew wrote in one of his blog posts, "....i never planed for, they just came to me. But maybe this is were true happiness comes from all the unexpected little things of life, the stuff we don't ,we can't plan for". I completely agree that my happiness surfaces at any random time when I see something that just makes me smile wether I am painting, people watching, having a heart to heart with my father, etc... all the little moments that seem insignificant are some of the things I can honestly say I enjoy the most in life. If we don't have the little things to brighten our day, then thats what makes our  existence meaningless. 

     There are still so many questions in life to be answered. Why are we here on Earth? What is true happiness, freedom, peace, and individuality? What is the meaning of life and what is the "right"  and "wrong" way to live it? These are questions people have been asking for centuries and millions have come up with their own theory, but which is correct?  I am still unsure of my own beliefs, but I do believe that these are questions man were not meant to know the answers to. We just have to sit back and enjoy life to the fullest.